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John Sinclair

The hardest working poet in the industry

[07] "crepescule with nellie" E-mail
I Mean You
Sunday, 18 December 2005 00:26
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crepescule with nellie 

for penny

here comes those blues again
before the sun rise,

same blues at sun down,
blues all night & day. you know i

want to be in
love with you, baby, but i

just can t stand your low down,
inconsiderate ways. & it s

not like i
haven t tried, but every

where i turn
there it is again, the shitty end

of the stick
right back in my face. what i

wanted most of
all to be was simply

crazy about you,
baby, i wanted you to be

the onliest woman
to share my weird existence

in intimate congress, body
& soul, the way it was

when our union
once was whole, or even

like it is right now
when we strip off our troubles

along with our clothes
& pleasure one another's flesh

without constraint or reservation
just like two people in love 

the truth is, i wanted to grow
old with you, like thelonious

& nellie monk
sharing the strange twilight

of his most difficult years,
their kids all grown up & left

to themselves at last,
peering out together

into the deepening dusk
through a life's disappointments

& high times as well,
alone together

as moon & darkness gathered
on the near horizon,

looking back over their common life
with a big smile on their face. oh, if

only we could make it
as far as the two of them

stuck it out with each other
through thick & thin, but the give &

take required
to make a go of it

is just not within our grasp,
i can t give you any more

nor can i take it any
farther than you let me,

this must be the end

of a love affair that failed,
there's not enough delight left

to block out the pain, no
no baby, i can t anchor my life

to the wild swings of your mood
or love you & hate you

at the very same time, you
know i want to be in

love with you baby
but it's time for you to go 

those same blues are coming back now,
my heart has turned to snow

& i ve got a cold cold feeling,
it's just like ice around my heart 

i know i m gonna quit somebody
every time that feeling start

august 7, 1987

note: the blues is
cold cold feeling 

as performed by
aaron t-bone  walker